It happens even to the best of us and there is no exact explanation as to why some choose to never reply again, or suddenly disappear from our lives after we invested time and emotion. Just know this, that your self worth should not be diminished each time this happens. Learn to take it in stride, and don’t get too personal about it. It happens. Ghosting happens. Was it something that you said? Maybe, but so what, at the end of the day it would not have worked out anyway. If the other person is too afraid and doesn’t even have the time to say goodbye, then it would never go anywhere in the first place.
” Some Changes Look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge”- Eckhart Tolle
1.Many people do not want conflict, be grateful for the Silence
Not a lot of people are able to communicate how they feel, they might look strong on the outside, but on the inside there is an entirely different story going on. Many of these people who ghost other people just want to spare other people from prolonged battles. It is really hard to still talk to someone and tell them what is wrong, or what they do not want about them and the mere fact that some people chose to become silent instead of arguing with you for several minutes, is something you can appreciate. Would you rather that they tell you all the bad things that came into their mind. Ghosting is choosing Silence rather than conflict, and although the approach is painful. It means, you have avoided adding another enemy in your life. If it has already taken them more than a week to respond and nothing goes on anymore, best fill your days with other much more important plans instead.
2. Next Time Never Rely on Another persons reply to make you happy
I know it sounds painful and even downright mean but the only reason why you are unhappy and hurt is because you invested your emotions immediately. The hard truth is that since social media has made it so easy to reach out to more than one person in the whole wide world chances are that this other person on the line is not only talking to you but 12 more people. So next time, do not assume or rely on another person’s reply to make you happy and instead focus on important matters at hand. If this person never replies to you again, make sure to have fall back plans and do not be afraid to eat alone in the restaurant, or watch movie alone. Relationships nowadays are too forced, if another person doesn’t like you so what, it shouldn’t be the end of the world. Go enjoy your life- and make Dating a third option in your life- not the main priority otherwise you will feel hurt over and over again.
3. Call Them Out
If you really feel hurt and you don’t want to prolong it anymore. Just call them out, and tell them that you are hurt that they are no longer replying. At times, being frank about it is better. Tell them, what you really hoped for, and be brave about your feelings about them. Call them out and tell them you are hurt that they are no longer replying, and if they do not feel anything at all despite the confession, then they are good for nothing and stone cold anyway- just be brave- and see where it goes.
4. Ghosting or just Busy?
Believe me, some people are so busy and so hyper active, that ghosting you was unplanned. Maybe, during the time you were talking they are available and sitting inside a coffee shop, but their entire life is really busy. If the person has a business, juggles several projects, has really complex problems with their family and many other issues that they need to attend to then it will take them weeks or months to respond so do not take it personally. Some do not do ghosting on purpose, everyone has their own dilemma. There are also people who just don’t want to talk for a while, they are dealing with personal issues and even depression that they do not want to reply. Avoid taking things personally, if you really cared for someone, you would be patient enough to wait. If you feel they are not up for it yet, just tell them to take care, and wish them well and pray for them instead. But cease forcing the conversation. If the right time comes they will go out of this period in their life. There is nothing you can do about it, when they are still trying to mend their heart and mind. You can try inviting them to a fun activity on the weekend but if they still do not want to reply, stop forcing the issue and just respect the decision and walk away. Tell them you will wait for a number of weeks according to what is acceptable to you and if during that time period no response comes, be ready to accept without hatred.
5. Cease all Communication, Stop Texting and Calling- Get the Hint
Just get the hint. Even Beyonce and every Miss Universe in the World get rejected. Don’t think of it too much and stop waiting for this person to come around. Just stop texting, stop sending Hi on their messenger, stop all efforts. Cease and start taking control of your emotions. Begin to let it go day by day. The people who are meant to stay will stay. If destiny and fate didn’t intervene, then just be humble and accept. Let it go. Stop wasting time for a person who doesn’t even have enough energy in themselves to reply to basic text. If a simple reply is too hard for them, then nothing will really come out of the relationship anyway.
6. Avoid becoming A Ghost buster and Avoid Attempts at Hunting them Down
It is never worth it, and you will lose your self esteem and will even make things awkward. Just plan a trip abroad, or launch and interesting project. Work on writing your own book, write poetry. Take care of a new cat, get a new hair cut. Learn how to play piano, whatever fun thing you can think of, to free your mind of the need to obsess about why this person ghosted you. Just have fun instead, in time you will forget this person ever happened in your life and avoid prolonging pain. I repeat avoid becoming a ghost buster- let it be.
7. Ask Yourself Why you are So Eager to be in a relationship anyway
Trust me, even if by any chance this person did not ghost you, the relationship will still suck at some point as all romantic relationships do. Because we are humans, we are bound to make mistakes and there is no perfect marriage, no perfect couple. So ask yourself, why are you so invested on this romantic relationship anyway- its not as if he or she can save you from the loneliness you are feeling inside. If by any chance someone doesn’t reply anymore, its not the end of your life, so it really shouldn’t matter.Its just not time for you yet to fall in love, have kids, get married. Instead of focusing on dating and sex all the time, just find a way to make your life meaningful through meaningful work. Also, have you prayed lately? Whether you believe in a Higher Power or not, that we call God, it does help so stop for a while, pray and ask for the right partner to come into your life. Just make your own life interesting- work on perfecting your skills, your dreams and the partner you have been hoping for will just arrive whether you like it or not, whether you put effort into it or not- if its fate what will be will be.
8. Avoid Ghosting Other People Yourself
Believe it not at some point you are also guilty of this, so now that you know the pain, just be a more decent person and be frank with the people you date. If you know that there is no chance for both of you then tell it in a frank yet respectful way and avoid leading anyone on- avoid ghosting other people yourself.